151 Hilarious Jokes for Adults in 2025
The saying "laughter is the best medicine" actually has some truth to it. According to the Mayo Clinic, laughing can relieve stress, improve your immune system and even boost the functioning of certain organs, which means jokes for adults are one of the best ways to stay young at heart.
It’s easy to take life too seriously and let the stress of daily obligations dampen your spirit, so cracking seriously funny jokes (or corny jokes for adults) every now and then is good for the soul.
What are the best funny jokes for adults? From one-liner jokes for adults to Halloween jokes for adults, these puns are sure to lighten the mood and make everyone laugh. Whether you need a joke of the day for work or rhyme without reason ideas, keep them in your back pocket for any social setting that could use a little humor.
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- Funny Jokes for Adults
- Knock-Knock Jokes for Adults
- Short Jokes for Adults
- Hilarious Jokes for Adults
- Halloween Jokes for Adults
- Hilarious Clean Jokes for Adults
- Dirty Jokes for Adults
- One-Liner Jokes for Adults
- Seriously Funny Jokes
- Funny Question Jokes for Adults
Funny Jokes for Adults
These all-purpose jokes for adults will make anyone chuckle.
1. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
3. Do you know what I like about office work? It's all in a day's work - literally!
4. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't-opener!
5. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
6. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
8. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
9. The problem with candy jokes is they’re either too sweet or too corny.
10. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
11. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together?
12. I don’t suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.
13. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
Knock-Knock Jokes for Adults
Knock-knock jokes aren’t just child’s play! These knock-knock jokes for adults are sure to leave your friends, family and colleagues rolling.
14. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Alpaca.
- Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
15. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Control freak.
- Control freak who?
Okay, now you say "control freak who?"
16. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Atch.
- Atch who?
Bless you!
17. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Cow says.
- Cow says who?
No silly, cow says moo!
18. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Olive.
- Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you.
19. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Dishes.
- Dishes who?
Dishes the police! We’ve got you surrounded!
20. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Lettuce.
- Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
21. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Ya.
- Ya who?
No thanks, I prefer Google.
22. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Peas.
- Peas who?
Peas give me another chance to make you laugh!
23. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
To.
- To who?
To whom.
24. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
- Broken pencil who?
Forget it. It’s pointless.
25. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Tank.
- Tank who?
You’re welcome.
26. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
Karma.
- Karma who?
Karma's a bummer, isn’t it?
Short Jokes for Adults
These short jokes for adults are certified attention grabbers.
27. What happens if you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed!
28. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
29. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
30. I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.
31. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
32. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I am slowly getting over it.
33. I’m no good at math, but I know that 5 out of 4 people struggle with it.
34. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Hilarious Jokes for Adults
Some jokes fall flat, but these jokes for adults are actually funny.
35. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
36. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
37. Why do bananas never feel lonely? Because they all hang out in bunches.
38. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
39. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
40. I am on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.
41. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
42. I told my therapist I had a fear of commitment. Now she’s avoiding me.
43. I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring the film.
44. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
45. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
46. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
47. I just burned 1200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Halloween Jokes for Adults
Get into the Halloween spirit with these festive jokes for adults. They’re so funny, it’s scary!
48. Why don’t ghosts like to go out in the rain? It dampens their spirits.
49. I would tell you a Halloween joke, but it’s too corny.
50. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He always wanted to work for a living.
51. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
52. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.
53. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
54. What do ghosts wear when they’re in the rain? Sheet music.
55. Why was the witch so good at baseball? She had a wicked curveball.
56. What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
57. Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his dead-ucation.
58. What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A necktarine!
59. Why did the haunted house break up with the cemetery? There were too many issues.
60. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
Hilarious Clean Jokes for Adults
If you need jokes for adults that are suitable for the workplace, look no further. These puns are hilarious without being inappropriate.
61. A cheese factory exploded in France. Da-brie was everywhere.
62. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
63. I just found out I’m colorblind. The news came out of the purple.
64. Why don’t eggs do well in school? Because they crack under pressure!
65. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
66. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it!
67. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They’re right behind you.'
68. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it.
69. I have an addiction to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
70. If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
71. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can't make it on Tuesdays.”
72. I don’t need a hairdresser. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
73. I just bought a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
74. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Dirty Jokes for Adults
Everyone loves a good dirty joke — but you should probably save these risqué jokes for adults until after work!
75. Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
76. Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink? He saw the climate change.
77. Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
78. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
79. What does the horny toad say? Rub it.
80. What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair.
81. What does a hot dog use for protection? Condoments.
82. What does a robot do after a one-night stand? He nuts and bolts.
83. How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? They grabbed him by the jewels.
84. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
85. Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in a mud puddle. Want to hear a clean joke? The white horse took a bath.
86. What gets wetter when things get steamy? Steamboats.
87. A cow has 4, but a woman only has 2. What am I? Legs.
One-Liner Jokes for Adults
One-liners are classic jokes for adults that are guaranteed to get you a laugh. Pull these out at a party and you’ll be everyone’s favorite person.
88. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession.
89. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”
90. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
91. What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.
92. What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.
93. Our child has a great deal of willpower — and even more won’t power.
94. I spent a lot of time, money and effort childproofing my house … but the kids still get in.
95. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. She said she didn’t feel a thing!
96. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? “Does this taste funny to you?”
97. What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.
98. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money?
99. Did you hear the one about the cat who ate a ball of yarn? She had mittens.
100. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Seriously Funny Jokes
Sometimes, the funniest jokes for adults are the cheesiest. Kids will find these hilarious too.
101. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger and larger. Then it hit me.
102. What's the hottest part of any room? The corner, because it's always 90 degrees.
103. How many dance instructors does it take to change a lightbulb? Five ... six ... seven ... eight!
104. Did you hear about the octopus that held up a convenience store? It was an armed robbery.
105. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Any idea how to drive this thing?”
106. Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's the same as regular tennis but without the racket.
107. Did you hear about the guy giving away dead batteries? They were free of charge.
108. Why did the invisible man quit his job? He couldn't see himself doing it.
109. There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can do math and those who can't.
110. What do you say to a cow that gets in your way? “Moooo-ve!”
111. Did you hear about the math book that got a therapist? It had a lot of problems.
112. What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
113. Why shouldn't you play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Funny Text Jokes for Adults
While jokes are best told in person so you can see the person’s reaction, funny text jokes for adults are a great way to brighten someone’s day from afar.
114. Where did the lettuce go for a drink? The salad bar.
115. Which month of the year has 28 days? Um, all of them.
116. Why was the broom late to work? It overswept.
117. What kind of cheese doesn't belong to you? Nacho cheese.
118. Why should you always knock before opening the fridge door? In case there's a salad dressing.
119. What do toilets do when they're embarrassed? They get a bit flush.
120. How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet.
121. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.
122. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends? He's a pain in the neck.
123. This is my step-ladder… I never knew my real ladder.
124. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know why.
125. A bossy man walked into a bar… And ordered everyone a round.
126. What do you call a detective that accidentally solves the case? Sheer Luck Holmes.
Funny Question Jokes for Adults
Looking for funny questions to ask that’ll leave people stumped? Nobody will know the answers to these funny question jokes for adults.
127. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
128. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
129. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
130. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
131. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
132. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
133. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
134. Why was the math teacher suspicious of prime numbers? Because they were always up to something.
135. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
136. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
137. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
138. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
139. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
140. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
141. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
142. Why did the cow go to space? To visit the Milky Way.
143. Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets.
144. Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones? They don’t have the nerve.
145. Why did the pencil break up with the paper? It found someone sharper.
146. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
147. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
148. Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no connection.
149. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
150. Why don’t fish play basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.
151. Why did the duck go to therapy? Because he had a quack in his self-esteem!
Whether you’re looking for lighthearted workplace banter or you just need some new lines to use on friends and family, jokes for adults will make you the life of the party.
Hilarious clean jokes for adults are fun for any occasion, while dirty jokes for adults are probably best not to share at the office. No matter how you choose to tell jokes for adults, these are the best ones if you want to brighten someone’s day by making them laugh.
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