301 Dad Jokes for Sure-Fire Laughs in 2025
Dad jokes are commonly known for their silly wordplay and clever use of puns. While some people love Dad jokes, others tend to roll their eyes at the ridiculous play on words.
ABC News mentions a study that Dad jokes are actually good for society, especially when it comes to raising kids. While some Dad jokes might seem cringe-worthy, they also have the ability to teach children how to positively respond and accept awkwardness, which leads to feelings of empowerment as they get older.
So, whether you’re telling Dad jokes to entertain your adult friends or you’re looking to put a smile on your kid’s face, Dad jokes are a great way to make everyone laugh. We’ve compiled a list of the best Dad jokes to share with your loved ones.
Jump to Section
- Funny Dad Jokes
- Best Dad Jokes
- Bad Dad Jokes
- Dad Jokes for Adults
- Corny Dad Jokes
- Good Dad Jokes
- Dirty Dad Jokes
- Great Dad Jokes
- Terrible Dad Jokes
- Stupid Dad Jokes
- Dumb Dad Jokes
- Dad Jokes for Kids
- Fresh Dad Jokes You’ve Never Heard
- Dad Jokes FAQs
Funny Dad Jokes
Infuse Dad jokes into your work environment for the best positive quotes for work. Even if funny Dad jokes might be cheesy, they’re still bound to make people laugh in the middle of a busy work day.
1. What did the platypus say when he bought some lipstick? Put it on my bill.
2. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
3. Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? It’s tearable.
4. I have a joke about pizza. But it’s too cheesy.
5. I have a joke about a pencil. But it’s pointless.
6. I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.
7. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
8. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
9. The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
10. Bigfoot is sometimes confused for Sasquatch – Yeti never complains.
11. What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
12. What happened when the world’s tongue-twister champion got arrested? They gave him a tough sentence.
13. Why was the woman afraid for the calendar? She said its days were numbered.
14. What did the drummer call his daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
15. Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt? Because it’s a waist of space.
16. I have a joke about a lightbulb, but I’m afraid I’ll screw it up.
17. I have a joke about cows, but I don’t want to milk it.
18. How do you make a robot angry? Keep pushing its buttons!
19. Why did the grape cry? Its mom was in a jam.
20. I got so excited that spring was here that I wet my plants.
21. Why did the electric car feel discriminated against? Because the rules weren’t current.
22. Where did the pumpkins have their meeting? In the gourderoom.
23. What do you call a criminal landing a plane? Condescending.
Best Dad Jokes
Tell the best Dad jokes to lighten the mood. Whether you’re deepening relationships at the office or entertaining a party with your friends, Dad jokes are an excellent way to put a smile on everyone’s face.
24. What did the crocodile wear to the beach? Crocs.
25. Why are barcodes printed on the sides of Norwegian battleships? So when they come into port they can Scandinavian.
26. Why don’t pirates travel on mountain roads? Scurvy.
27. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye deer.
28. What did the police say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
29. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on a head.
30. A magician was walking down the street, but then he turned into a store.
31. I can tolerate algebra, maybe even calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line.
32. I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he’s too baroque.
33. Did you hear about the king who was exactly 12 inches tall? He was great ruler.
34. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1.
35. What do you call a guy just laying on the floor in front of a door? Matt!
36. What happened when the French cheese factory exploded? Da brie was everywhere!
37. Watch what you say around egg whites. They can’t take a yolk.
38. What’s the best way to save your Dad jokes? In a Dadda-base.
39. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But cats can.
40. Why couldn’t the produce manager make it to work? He could drive, but didn’t avocado.
41. Why is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
42. I was going to try an almond diet, but that’s just nuts.
43. I tried to make up a joke about a ghost but couldn’t. It had plenty of spirit but no body.
44. What do you call a dog who meditates? Aware wolf.
45. If your house is always cold, stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.
46. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalepeño business.
47. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
Bad Dad Jokes
While Dad jokes might make your kids roll their eyes, they’re also a great way to build a bond with your family and make them laugh. Bad Dad jokes might cause them to cringe, but these jokes can also put a smile on their face.
48. Why did the golfer get a new pair of pants? Because he got a hole-in-one.
49. How long is a piece of string? Twice as long as half of it.
50. My wife was sick of my bad sense of direction. We always fought about it. So I packed up my bags and right.
51. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
52. Did you hear about that person who was afraid to jump a hurdle? They got over it.
53. Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero.
54. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream it.
55. Why did the broom decide to go to bed? It was sweepy.
56. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
57. Why is it hard to understand volunteers? Because they make no cents.
58. What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
59. What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
60. When did they find water on the moon? When it was waning.
61. What’s the difference between a “Dad joke” and a “bad joke”? The direction of the first letter.
62. I have a joke about banking, but I lost interest.
63. To the person who stole my place in line: I’m after you now.
64. Where should you never take a dog? The flea market.
65. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana peel? A slipper.
66. I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it.
67. I have a joke about the flu, but I hope you don’t get it.
68. How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy? She wrote about it in her diary.
69. I got a new pen that can write underwater. It can write other things too.
70. Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course. A house can’t jump.
Dad Jokes for Adults
Not only are Dad jokes for kids, but you can also tell Dad jokes to adults to give them a good laugh. Any of these Dad jokes are bound to give anyone a good chuckle at an adult gathering.
71. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
72. What concert costs 45 cents to go to? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
73. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
74. Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it’s a sour pus.
75. My boss asked why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
76. If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
77. My wife is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.
78. Does anyone know where a Dad can find a person to talk to and hang out with? Asking for a friend.
79. What do you call an illegally parked frog? A toad.
80. Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory? They weren’t putting in enough shifts.
81. What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
82. What’s orange and red and full of disappointment? School pizza.
83. Once I was kidnapped by mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
84. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
85. What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.
86. How do fish get high? Seaweed.
87. What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink? Subpoena colada.
88. I’m excited about the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is open Mike night.
89. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
90. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
91. What do you say when your favorite smoke shop is replaced by J. Crew? Clothes, but no cigar!
92. How do you make a Budweiser? You send him to school.
93. I’m getting a divorce and my wife gets half my weed stash. At least we’ll have joint custody.
Corny Dad Jokes
Dad jokes are well-known for being corny in their wordplay. While some of these jokes might guarantee an eye roll, they’re also likely to put a smile on anyone’s face.
94. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
95. Why wouldn’t the bike stand on its own? Because it was too tired.
96. Kid – “Dad, did you get a haircut?” Dad – “No, I got them all cut.”
97. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
98. What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don’t worry, I’ll ketchup.
99. Why did all the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep? It was pasta bedtime.
100. How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They’re on the house.
101. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
102. Whenever you get a bad sausage, it’s just the wurst.
103. My wife texted me to tell me our pantry is out of pasta. Now we’re penneless.
104. Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
105. I’d avoid the sushi if I were you – it’s a little fishy.
106. Lance isn’t a common name these days, but in medieval times, they were called lance-a-lot.
107. Why can’t you send a duck to outer space? Because the bill would be astronomical.
108. Why did the computer get mad at the printer? Because it didn’t like its toner voice.
109. I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.
110. What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
111. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
112. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
113. What’s more impressive than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
Good Dad Jokes
Tell clever Dad jokes for funny questions to ask while making new friends. Dad jokes are silly and a great way to break the awkward tension, whether you’re looking to expand your social circle or deepen relationships.
114. What happens when you take a watch on a plane? Time flies.
115. What do you get when you make humorous soup? Laughing stock.
116. Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks if you would like your milk in the bag, reply that they can leave it in the carton.
117. I asked the librarian if she knew any authors who wrote dinosaur novels. She said, “Try Sarah Topps.”
118. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
119. I had a date last night and it was perfect. Tomorrow I’ll have a fig.
120. We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.
121. I’m reading an anti-gravity book. It’s so good, I can’t put it down.
122. Every night, I have a hard time remembering something, but then it dawns on me.
123. I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit – what a waist!
124. My wife and I let astrology get between us. It just Taurus apart.
125. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know which comes first.
126. What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
127. Where do pirates get their hooks? Secondhand stores.
128. What’s the difference between a bull and a cow? It’s one or the utter.
129. What’s the difference between a badly dressed kid on a bicycle and a well-dressed kid on a tricycle? Attire!
130. What did the photon say to the hotel bellhop? No luggage, I’m traveling light.
131. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn’t dig it.
132. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow fresh prints.
133. Why did the coffee go to the police? To report a mugging.
134. To the person who stole my dictionary: I have no words.
135. What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.
136. Why do dragons sleep during the day? Because they like to fight knights.
137. What did the tree say in spring? What a re-leaf.
138. Why didn’t the sun enroll in college? It already had a million degrees.
139. What should kids play when they have nothing to do? Bored games.
140. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.
Dirty Dad Jokes
Telling dirty Dad jokes is another way to entertain your adult friends. Turn around anyone’s bad mood by dishing out these funny Dad jokes.
141. Why didn’t the toilet roll cross the road? Because he got stuck in the crack.
142. I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don’t have the guts to tell it.
143. Why was the nose sad? It was getting picked on.
144. What do you call bees that produce milk instead of honey? Boo-bees.
145. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said yes, all the rest had been nines and tens.
146. I believe that protection should be used at every conceivable location.
147. What’s Santa’s favorite state to visit? Ida Ho Ho Ho.
148. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
149. Why does a duck have feathers? To cover up his butt quack.
150. What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
151. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
152. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
153. Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
154. My wife asked me to spoon in bed, but I’d rather fork.
155. Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
156. What do you call someone who is a master at baiting? A skilled seaman.
157. How does a rock pee? He Dwaynes his Johnson.
158. What’s the best thing about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
159. Why is it so hard to argue with a woman not wearing a bra. She’s already made two great points.
160. What do you call a horny cow? Beef jerky.
161. Why did Piglet have his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.
162. Why do chickens wear underwear on their heads? Because their pecker is on their face.
163. What’s six inches long and has two nuts at the end? An Almond Joy.
Great Dad Jokes
Break the ice by telling Dad jokes that are sure to guarantee a good laugh. Whether someone’s experiencing a sour mood or job stress, any of these Dad jokes are sure to make them smile.
164. A Dad walks his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. The priest asks, “Who wants to give this woman away?” The Dad replies, “I do and I want a receipt.”
165. How does an Eskimo build a house? Igloos it together.
166. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
167. I had an argument with my son on the elevator. Turns out, I was wrong on all levels.
168. I love Dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.
169. At first, I thought my chiropractor wasn’t any good, but I stand corrected.
170. My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.
171. It’s raining cats and dogs. Be careful not to step into a poodle.
172. I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs.
173. What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a huge plus.
174. How do you cure a fear of a speed bump? You slowly go over it.
175. I have a joke about a roof, but it’ll just go over your head.
176. I have a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time.
177. Why won’t Apple start making cars? They don’t support windows.
178. To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you. I have contacts.
179. What fruit do twins love? Pears.
180. Where can you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
181. What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time, no sea.
182. I went to the aquarium this weekend, but didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
183. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
184. What’s an astronaut’s favorite board game? Moon-opoly.
185. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
186. Why did the teddy bear turn down the slice of cake? He was stuffed.
Terrible Dad Jokes
While terrible dad jokes might make your kids shudder in embarrassment, they’re also a great way to relieve the tension in the room. Tell these dad jokes to help lighten the mood.
187. I don’t often tell dad jokes. But when I do, he laughs.
188. Our family could never get tyred of dad jokes. He says they’re wheelie good.
189. What do you call a chicken with salad in his eyes? Chicken Cesar Salad.
190. How are scooters like butter? They’re on a roll.
191. Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.
192. Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
193. I was once a personal trainer. Until I gave my too-weak notice.
194. I decided to sell the vacuum cleaner – it was just gathering dust.
195. Why are pupils the last part of your body to stop working when you die? They dilate.
196. What did the doctor say to the panicked man who was shrinking? Calm down – you’ll have to be a little patient.
197. Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021.
198. Why are nurses always running out of red crayons? Because they always have to draw blood.
199. Did you hear about the square that got into a car accident? Now he’s a rect-angle.
200. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking.
201. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
202. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.
203. Who won the neck decorating contest? No one. It was a tie.
204. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thanks for the mulch!
205. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
206. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
207. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
208. How do you make seven even? Take away the “S”.
209. Have you driven around traffic circles? They’re pointless.
Stupid Dad Jokes
Sometimes, you need to tell stupid dad jokes to embarrass your kids and give them a moment they’ll remember forever. These dad jokes might be silly now, but they’re sure to create a favorite memory.
210. How do you make a fire with two sticks? Make sure one’s a match.
211. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
212. Batteries aren’t flat. They’re round.
213. I named my horse mayo. Mayo naise.
214. Why did Dad burn the Hawaiian pizza? He should’ve used aloha temperature.
215. Did you pick your nose? No. I was born with it.
216. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet – I just don’t know y.
217. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
218. Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha.
219. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
220. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins — I couldn’t differentiate them.
221. I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
222. I finally watched a documentary about clocks. It was about time.
223. A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.
224. Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.
225. What’s green and has wheels? Grass! I lied about the wheels.
226. What do you call a line of dads waiting to get haircuts? The barberqueue.
227. Why are balloons so big? Inflation!
228. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
229. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
230. Why can’t you ever run through a campsite? You can only ran – it’s always past tents.
231. What did the pineapple say to the banana? Nothing. Pineapples can’t talk.
232. Why are pigs bad drivers? They’re road hogs.
Dumb Dad Jokes
Dumb Dad jokes are sometimes the most clever jokes you can tell your friends. While these jokes might make people shake their heads, they’ll also guarantee a good chuckle.
233. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
234. Why did the ram run off the cliff? It didn’t see the ewe turn.
235. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
236. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
237. When does a sandwich cook? When it’s bakin’ lettuce and tomato.
238. Why should you never date a baker? They’re too kneady.
239. I thought it was the dryer shrinking my clothes. Turns out, it was the refrigerator all along.
240. I hate my job – all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
241. I found a wooden shoe in my toilet – it was clogged.
242. If a pig loses his voice, does it become disgruntled?
243. I used to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.
244. Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
245. My therapist told me I have problems expressing my emotions. I can’t say I’m surprised.
246. I wanted to eat a watch for lunch, but it was too time-consuming.
247. I can tell when you’re lying just by looking at you. I can also tell when you’re standing.
248. My friend couldn’t pay his water bill, so I sent him a “get well soon” card.
249. Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
250. What do you call a beehive with no exit? Unbelievable.
251. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, while the other is a little lighter.
252. I have a few jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
253. Why do giraffes have such long legs? Because they have smelly feet.
254. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
255. How do you make an eggroll? You push it.
Dad Jokes for Kids
Tell Dad jokes to your kids to give them a good laugh. Any kid will love a creative play on words to help them think creatively and lighten the mood.
256. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
257. What’s a karate kid's favorite drink? Waataaa!
258. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
259. Kid – “Dad, make me a sandwich.” Dad – “Poof. You’re a sandwich.”
260. How did the skeleton know it was about to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
261. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
262. Why did the candle quit his job? He felt burned out.
263. Mom keeps asking why I have so much candy. She doesn’t know I always keep a few Twix up my sleeve.
264. Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list, and now I can’t read what else is on it.
265. After dinner, Mom asked me if I could clear the table. I made it, but I needed a running start.
266. What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes? Get out of the way!
267. Why is the cow always smiling? It’s in a good mooood!
268. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
269. I have a joke about kites, but it would just sail over your head.
270. Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy.
271. What do you call a dancing cow? A milkshake!
272. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
273. What did the farmer say when he bought two ducks and a cow? Now I have quakers and milk.
274. What kind of music do planets listen to? Nep-tunes.
275. How do you get a mouse to smile? Say “cheese!”
276. What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose.
277. Why couldn’t the pony sing “Happy Birthday”? She was a little horse.
278. What did the tiger say after it ate the cow? That tasted funny.
Fresh Dad Jokes You’ve Never Heard
Tell fresh Dad jokes to impress your friends. These Dad jokes might come off as playful and silly, but you’ll always be known as the friend who knows how to make everyone laugh.
279. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy.
280. How does the moon cut his hair? He eclipses it.
281. My dream job is to clean mirrors, because I can really see myself doing that.
282. RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
283. Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
284. What state is known for its tiny sodas? Minnesota.
285. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
286. When does a regular joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
287. I had a joke about canned juice, but I just couldn’t concentrate.
288. I have a joke about procrastination, but I’ll tell it to you later.
289. How does Darth Vader like his toast? He likes it on the dark side.
290. To the person who stole my case of energy drinks: I hope you can’t sleep at night.
291. What’s the best kind of music to listen to when you’re fishing? Something catchy.
292. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
293. I’m such a good navigator. A self-driving car once asked me for directions.
294. My boss said to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. So I went to work as Batman.
295. What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
296. Why did the egg have the day off? Because it was Fryday.
297. What’s a skeleton's favorite type of road? A dead end.
298. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing. Just a little wine.
299. I found a book called Solve 50% of Your Problems, so I bought two copies.
300. Why did the coffee taste like dirt? Because it was ground just moments ago.
301. Why should you never throw Grandpa’s fake teeth at a car? Because it will denture vehicle.
Dad Jokes FAQs
Why Is Dad Short for Father?
Nicknames have been part of society for centuries. The simpler version of the evolution of “father” to “Dad” is that our culture has adopted more casual linguistics and relationships.
Another reason? “Dadda” is typically the first word an infant is able to say and it’s far easier to pronounce than father. Allowing your kids to call you Dad creates a more intimate and less formal relationship in your family.
What Is Another Funny Name for Dad?
There are tons of nicknames people have for Dads. Some call their Dad “Pops”, “Old Man” and even “The Dad-inator”. You can incorporate any of these nicknames into your Dad jokes for a fun and creative take on your humor.
Sharing Dad jokes is a great way to use wordplay to make people laugh. Whether you’re trying to embarrass your kids or entertain your adult friends, Dad jokes provide a clever opportunity to build relationships, alleviate tension and create a silly memory people will treasure for years.
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